The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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