they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
