So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
