he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
