just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
