nutella sex= disaster
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
