My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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