chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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