Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
