just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
