i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
