We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You dont lie about slip and slides
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize