I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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