I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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