Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
