I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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