I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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