i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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