Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
