Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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