and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
