Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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