Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Its about making memories worth repressing
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
