my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
