Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
