naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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