i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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