You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
