These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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