Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
