I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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