I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
