These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
