i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
