Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
