He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
