I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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