Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
