Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
