Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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