dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
