Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
