For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
