im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
