JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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