apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize