I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
