How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
