I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
