Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Panties = found
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
