dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
