i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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