if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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