Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I wish you could order shots online.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
