So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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