All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
