rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
