Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize