Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
