problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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