I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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